Recent divorcee is surprised to find love close to home - The Bethel Citizen

Recent divorcee is surprised to find love close to home - The Bethel Citizen


Recent divorcee is surprised to find love close to home - The Bethel Citizen

Posted: 07 Sep 2020 09:00 PM PDT

DEAR ABBY: I am recently divorced after a 19-year marriage, and to my great shock, I already find myself in love with another man. I didn't come out of the marriage looking for anyone, nor did I think I'd ever marry again, but this man wants to marry me, and I'm seriously considering it.

We bonded when he contacted me to offer support after he heard about my divorce, and it was love at "second" sight. Why "second"? Because we grew up together — literally next door — and he's my first cousin.

Despite the societal taboo, it is legal in my state for first cousins to marry, and genetic issues with offspring aren't a concern. We're both sterile and have no ability (or desire) for more children. My siblings suspect and aren't pleased with the situation. His parents know and are happy for us.

Am I crazy to think I'm in love again this quickly? It doesn't feel too fast because we've always known each other and been close; it's just that the form of love has changed. How do we break it to the rest of the family? The world? People can be so judgmental, even though in many parts of the world it is perfectly normal to marry your cousin. — SECRET LOVE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SECRET LOVE: You are not "crazy," but you may be in an altered mental state, as many recently divorced people have found themselves. They describe it as a kind of high.

If you are wise — and I hope you are — you will slow this romance down and allow enough time for your family to become accustomed to the changed circumstances of your relationship with your cousin. The "world" isn't going to care about this the way your family does, so don't concern yourself with explaining anything to the general public. (How often have you asked couples to explain if they are related in addition to marriage? Not many, I'll bet.)

My advice is to let this new relationship evolve more slowly. If you do, the outcome may be more positive than if you hurtle to the altar.

** ** **

DEAR ABBY: I have the best wife and daughter ever, and here's my dilemma. My daughter lives in another state and would love us to build a second home nearby to be closer to their family.

My wife and I are nearly 80 and very active. I play tennis or pickleball every day. My wife walks an hour to an hour and a half every morning. We are happiest when we are active. Where my daughter lives is not conducive to walking, and my wife would be very unhappy.

Please don't suggest a gym or a treadmill — been there, done that. Plus, my wife has no desire to take on the added burden of a second house. We just downsized five years ago. How do I keep the two women in my life happy? — FIGURING IT OUT IN FLORIDA

DEAR FIGURING: Recognize that it won't be possible to make both women happy. Your first loyalty should be to your wife.

Explain to your daughter that you know she means well, but that at your ages (80), your routine is extremely important. (It's true.) That routine may be what keeps you as healthy as you are. Back it up with the fact that two homes would be too much for you and her mother to manage, which is why you have BOTH decided — as much as you love her — to keep things as they are. And stick to it. Your daughter can visit you, and you can visit her, but stay where you are.

** ** **

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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9 of the worst London locations to find love and meet your future partner - My London

Posted: 08 Sep 2020 04:10 AM PDT

London has some very romantic places.

From rooftop bars to West End shows, to top restaurants to peaceful walks, there's no end of amazing things to do with the person you love in the capital.

Many people even meet the person they end up spending their life with at these places.

But we have to be totally honest and point out there are also some places in London you really wouldn't want to meet your future partner. Because they're disgusting, boring, stressful or weird.

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Here's the nine places you definitely wouldn't want to meet your future lover.

1. Any McDonalds after midnight

You'll know if you live in London that every night is a drinking night.

Even Sundays.

This means that if you go into most McDonald's in the capital late at night it will probably be pretty grim.

Especially on Thursdays, Fridays or Saturdays. You'll probably see a lot of very drunk people, a lot of chicken nuggets on the floor, and some very disgusting toilets.

Not a very romantic environment.

2. Oxford Street

Would absolutely hate meeting a future partner in this chaos

Oxford Street is never exactly pleasant. You go there to do your shopping, maybe you enjoy going into some of the shops, but it's never a fun place to be because it's just so crowded.

If you met your future partner here you'd probably lose them again to the throng.

3. Fabric

It's just too cool.

If you meet your future partner in Fabric no-one will believe you when you tell stories about how you met because they'll all think you're showing off and pretending to be cool. So it'll just be inconvenient.

4. On the night bus

The night bus is a grim place. Often cold and often full of drunk or sleeping people and the smells of cheap fast food or takeaways.

Plus you resent it because it's your only mode of transport home but it takes so much longer than the Tube you take during the day.

Do you really want to remember that when you look into the eyes of your loved one?

5. Infernos

Sticky floors, over-priced drinks and wannabe Londoners.

Terrible place to meet your future partner.

Does this scream romance at you?

6. Soho after 3am

After everyone has had way too much to drink and most people have gone home, a few party animals will be left causing chaos on the streets.

Combine that with the heaps of rubbish and even more disgusting things on the roads and pavements and you've got an absolutely awful place to fall in love with someone.

7. In an Uber pool

All you're trying to do is save money and the environment by sharing an Uber home.

It's a far too practical place to meet someone you're going to fall head over heels in love with.

Plus the driver will be able to listen to all your chat up lines and might end up giving you a bad rating because of this.

Find out what attractions are now open again near where you live by putting your postcode into our handy widget below

8. Madame Tussaud's

Imagine if you wanted to propose to your partner in five years time back in the place where you first met them?

Can you really picture proposing in front of waxworks of the Queen or Beyonce.

It just doesn't seem very romantic at all. The pictures would not be good.

9. The Tube

You've got pretty much no hope of meeting anyone on the London Underground because no-one ever talks to each other.

In fact, it's got to the point where someone that does talk to you randomly is viewed as strange

So you should get the idea of meeting your future lover on your Northern Line commute to work out of your mind right now.

Got a story? Email lucy.skoulding@reachplc.com

Love Fridge Brings Free Meat, Produce To West Side Food Desert: 'You Deserve To See Something Beautiful' - Block Club Chicago

Posted: 08 Sep 2020 12:40 AM PDT

NORTH LAWNDALE — There's a fridge out west full of fresh fruit, meat and vegetables — and everything inside is up for grabs.

Austin native Dearra Williams volunteered with The Love Fridge mutual aid network to bring a fridge to the area. It was installed outside the historic Stone Temple Missionary Baptist Church, 3622 W. Douglas Blvd., to address the food scarcity that plagues the West Side and has been exasperated by the pandemic.

The fridge is open 24/7 to anybody who needs fresh, healthy food. It is restocked regularly by local groups and residents.

The Love Fridge has installed 10 fridges from Logan Square to Hyde Park, including two in August to support neighbors in Little Village and Bridgeport.

RELATED: The Love Fridge Is Bringing Free Food To Neighbors In Need In Little Village, Bridgeport: 'People Want To Help'

Williams became passionate about improving food access on the West Side after recognizing she had spent much of her life living in a food desert, where residents had to travel miles to get to the nearest grocery stores.

"It's limited. And if we do have food, it's at corner stores with a lot of junk food and things like that," Williams said. "But we need a balance. We need to be able to have fresh produce and veggies in these areas."

The refrigerator was provided by the Love Fridge. All that was needed to get the project off the ground was a convenient spot to plug it in.

When Williams attended a community meeting as a representative of Love Fridge to find a location, Stone Temple's Reshorna Fitzpatrick immediately volunteered her church. Just days later, the fridge was installed and filled with food for the community.

The love fridge painted violet at the Stone Temple church.
Pascal Sabino / Block Club

The love fridge was painted by artist Hailey Losselyong, who added signs to make it clear the food inside belongs to anybody who wants it. The painting on the fridge shows women of color and is designed to allow residents to see themselves represented in the solutions to a longstanding problem in the area.

"It's just another element of making people feel seen and appreciated and that their community deserves to be painted," Losselyong said. "You deserve to see something beautiful."

Residents have embraced the fridge as a vital food resource, organizers said. As soon as the project was installed, Fitzpatrick let several people who are experiencing homelessness know about the free food.

"They came and they actually took some meat from the fridge and they barbecued. Man, I was inspired by that. It made me emotional. I was really grateful that we were able to provide that," Fitzpatrick said.

The fridge was a perfect fit for Stone Temple since the church has a lush vegetable garden next door. Fitzpatrick has stocked the fridge with fresh produce grown nearby.

The garden is also a gathering space where Fitzpatrick plans to teach people how to incorporate healthy food into their diets.

"We have a grill, and we could show you and teach you through food demonstrations. That's one of the things that we are going to do in the very near future," Fitzpatrick said. "Making things available and putting the education behind it … will help them become even more healthy mentally, spiritually and physically."

Love Fridge's food supplies have been supplemented with donations from Black Lives Matter Chicago, from the food pantry operated by Marillac House Food Pantry and from local agriculture programs like Gardeneers and the Farm on Ogden.

Between the donations from neighborhood groups and the contributions of residents, Fitzpatrick said there's enough donations so the fridge will never go empty.

"Anyone can donate food because this is a community fridge. I want the community to come together and help each other out with this," Williams said.

Food can be donated by putting fresh produce into the fridge. You also can donate to Stone Temple to help restock the fridge by contacting Fitzpatrick at reshorna@gmail.com or Williams at dearra.williams8402@gmail.com.

Pascal Sabino is a Report for America corps member covering Austin, North Lawndale and Garfield Park for Block Club Chicago.

Block Club Chicago's coronavirus coverage is free for all readers. Block Club is an independent, 501(c)(3), journalist-run newsroom.

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How Lou Brock helped me find, and grow to love, the game of baseball - KSDK.com

Posted: 07 Sep 2020 08:58 PM PDT

I can thank my mom for loving baseball as much as I do. Her favorite player was Lou Brock, a legendary player and human being. My house always said, "Louuuuuuu!"

Without Lou Brock, I may not like baseball as much as I do today.

One could call it a stretch. After all, my dad's old man famously paced the front porch of his home off Bancroft and Macklind while ranting about the latest Cardinals' heartbreaking incident. It could have come naturally since my dad was a casual sports fan and enjoyed the game, and my brother played it when I was kid. But I'd make a strong bet on the fact that my mom loved the game of baseball, so I had to as well.

After all, mothers pass a lot down to their kids, because nine months is a long time spent huddled together to not find a connection. Some things just synchronize automatically, while others marinate into the future name holder. I loved baseball since I was 7 years old, when a Cardinals first baseman named Pedro Guerrero soaked up all my attention.

But the name on the front of the jersey, the birds on the bat with the best shiny colors adjourning the threads, demanded a deeper introspection. Before Guerrero wore it for a few years, more than a few legends made it shine for decades. One of those guys was Brock, who happened to be my mom's favorite player.

While Willie McGee had a soft spot in my mom's heart, Brock owned it. She mentioned him often and fondly, which must have sunk into my skull like the relentless St. Louis summer heat. I saw some newspaper clippings and heard a few tall tales that never left the mind. The one time Brock stole this many bases, or made the other team look foolish while carrying the world's largest smile. As Robin Williams' wise professor once told an emotionally-conflicted Matt Damon, that's the good stuff.

The details that never leave a kid's head, so when I started to carve out my own piece in this world, baseball had to be a part of it. Players like Brock, wearing the birds on the bat in a way only kings could, were a staple in my pastime. Let's face it, wherever the Cardinals went, the name "Lou" went with it.

The guy hadn't played in a single game since 1979, but seemed to embody everything a mad scientist could sink into the ultimate Cardinal. He was supremely talented on the field, but generous and caring off the field. Brock smiled more than he frowned, never letting a bad day get him down. The man oozed confidence like a hot head lets off heat, but that never stopped him from bringing a new face up. Read how Adam Wainwright described their first interaction.

They don't make those souls that often. Brock was a rare make and model, like the mechanic just retired after the first edition. He lifted others up in a time and place where social media couldn't give an athlete's goodwill wind beneath its wings. Brock was old school the clearest glimpse of the phrase, bringing joy to others while being elite inside the white lines.

He gathered MVP votes in 10 different seasons. Brock collected over ten triples in six different years. The man was once caught stealing 33 times, but that's only because he stole 118 of those bases. Brock was a saint off the field, but a straight con man on the bases. He stole over 40 bases in a season during 13 different summers. He once said a hit could feel useless if you stayed on first base. Who wants to feel satisfied with one base? Brock wanted them all, including home if the pitcher and catcher snoozed a little too much.

Nobody can forget that St. Louis got to witness so many thefts at Busch Stadium for the simple fact that the Cardinals' front office pulled the biggest con on the Chicago Cubs in that trade many, many years ago. But Brock had to go out and earn that win for the Cardinals in the transaction. It was fitting yet bittersweet that Brock passed away while the Cardinals and Cubs were engaged in some weekend baseball.

A small group of baseball players can think like that on a field at an elite level, and drop it so quickly after a game in order to stand on the same level as their peers. Brock never put down another player or tried to create drama. A gentler heart didn't exist in the game back then. It now no longer exists on this Earth and for that, I am a sad baseball fan today. It also makes me fear Sept. 6, a day that has taken Chris Duncan and Brock in back-to-back years.

The world is not a better place without Lou Brock in it. I always knew he was going to steal heaven eventually. I just wish he had waited a little longer.

81 years is a good total for a human to steal from life, but like any St. Louis baseball soul, I wanted more time with Lou around.

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